Tweets of the Week: Brexit special

The published deal is nearly 600 pages, in the House of Commons argument rages, and as ministers resign, no one knows what the next stage is.

This episode is supported by the European Parliament.

It kicked off early in the week with German Chancellor Angela MerkeI speaking to the European Parliament on Tuesday. She referred to Brexit as a “deep wound”.

But on Wednesday, the FT’s Merheen Khan was first to tweet. “It is here! The European Commission published the official withdrawal agreement, coming in at a whopping 585 pages!!”

Bruno Waterfield’s succinct reaction, “Oh God!” was echoed by many.

Truly, who has time to read all of that? Not Theresa May’s cabinet, that’s for sure!

European Council President Donald Tusk promised “our British friends to do everything to make this farewell the least painful possible.”

Berlaymonster wondered if he could make it sound a bit less like he’s about to administer a lethal injection?

Nigel Farage described it as “the worst deal in history.”

Obviously.

“Worse than EU membership, then?”, quipped Martini Seltzermayr.

Adding that “the Brexit deal is like a horror movie character going for a solo stroll in the woods at night, you know it’ll be brutally murdered, but by whom?”.

May appeared to get her deal through Cabinet approval on Wednesday night, but by Thursday things had taken another turn.

Sam Lowe said, “I suppose it was nice that everyone pretended to be interested in the substance for 12 hours or so; now back to the political spectacle”.

And what a spectacle it was!

On Thursday morning, Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab resigned because he could not “in good conscience support the terms proposed for our deal with the EU.”

Yup, that’s the same deal he was in charge of negotiating.

Armando Iannucci‏ summed it up, “The man who negotiated Brexit resigned today to position himself to lead the party he wants to negotiate against the deal he negotiated.”

All clear?

Junior Northern Irish minister Shailesh Vara also called it quits followed by Work and Pensions Minister Esther McVey, and junior Brexit minister Suella Braverman.

With ministers dropping like dominoes, May reportedly offered the Brexit job to Michael Gove.

As we record, he’s still wrestling with whether to stay on at all in the wake of Raab’s resignation.

It’s a tough choice, James Crisp’s unscientific poll found that Brexit secretaries have shorter lifespans than even mayflies and Watford managers.

Comedy account, Seamus It Ever Was, says “It’s easy to laugh at the British government about all this, and I think that’s what I like about it. How easy it is.”

James O Brien asked fellow Brits to “pause for a moment, to consider how we currently look to the rest of the world.”

And it certainly doesn’t look good for Theresa May.

However, Alyn Smith MEP stands ready to ride to the rescue confirming he is available and willing “to serve on a temporary basis as UK Brexit Secretary and have a plan ready to go that will totally fix all this.”

We think he’s joking.

As Westminster was in disarray, Europe’s Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier went to Strasbourg to brief MEPs.

European Parliament President Antonio Tajani wasted no time reminding everyone that they will have the final say: “We will scrutinise developments, ensuring that our red lines are fully respected,” he said.

There’s no deal without a Europarl deal.

Guy Verhofstadt said he “really regrets Brexit. But now we have to do everything we can to limit the damage.”

That’s it for this Tweets of the Week. We’ll just pause again to check that there have been no more resignations in London during recording…

Oh.

 

Join me again next Friday for more lunacy and buffoonery in the Brussels Bubble.

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